One Woman Army in Carnival of Feminists 10

March 23, 2006 at 10:59 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

The 10th Annual Carnival of Feminists from indianwriting is now posted.

Somehow, Artemis missed this for several days and only came across it today.

To my intense delight, One Woman Army is mentioned under “Mind”.

Specifically, the posting “Don’t judge a feminist by his/her cover“.

This had made my day.
It’s been a good week for blogging.

***
Also take note of some new blogs posted by the very fabulous online magazine Empowerment4Women.org.

The three new blogs promise a varied kaleidoscope of talk and insight by some very talented women.

Looking forward to seeing what else they discuss.

Artemis.

Mid-life crisis?

March 22, 2006 at 12:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I’ve had a sudden thought that perhaps I’m having a midlife crisis lately.

I’ve always had a tendancy to take on other’s emotions. Too empathetic perhaps.

Sympathy pains? No problem? Imagined tendonitis when my friend’s have it? You bet. Anxiety for my stressed-out best friend? Definitely. Pregnancy dreams, bloating and cravings when my friend got pregnant. Of course.

My mom would’ve been 50 this year. Chances are, knowing her, she would’ve been in the throes of a mid-life crisis. She was always having a bit of a mini-life crisis. But coming up to 50 might’ve just pushed her over.

For the past few weeks I’ve been questioning everything I’ve been doing. Am I happy? Do I like the work I’m doing? Do I want to continue it? Should I do something else? Is it right for me?

Today I’m putting in my nomination forms for another year on my student union. For weeks I’d debated throwing it away, quitting the student movement, leaving it behind. Too much stress. Not enough pay. Not enough respect. Interference with my thesis. Do I really want to do this?

I’d contemplated leaving the country. Quitting school. Quitting the union. Quitting my work at the Women’s Centre. Go teach English in the Czech Republic. Become an au pair in France. Win the lottery.

But realistically, can I do any of that right now? Is it worth quitting my program when I’m more than half way through and have $20,000 of student loans because of it?

I love being busy, if I let myself admit it. I love being too busy (most of the time).

Perhaps this has been another mid-life crisis, brought forth by a 5-year anniversary of my mother’s death, by her 50th birthday today.

Empathizing what she might’ve been experiencing.

Perhaps I need to start examining what I want, not what I imagine she might’ve wanted.

Artemis.

Happy Birthday

March 22, 2006 at 12:14 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

To my mother, who would’ve been 50 today.

My mom was my soulmate, my nemesis, the other side of my self in many ways. She is who inspired me to become a feminist in more ways than I can consciously realize.

On today, her birthday, I’m at a loss to know what to do. How to celebrate someone’s birthday who is no longer here?

Like the capitalist spend-a-holic who loved luxury that she was, I’m going to get a facial and a haircut at a pricey salon in her name.

My mom and I didn’t talk much. This nemesis of mine, all she wanted for me was to succeed. Our goals didn’t match, necessarily. But I know she wanted the best for me.

What am I doing with my life five years after she died?

Have I succeeded how she would’ve wanted me to?

Or am I just sliding along?

Perhaps the best way to celebrate her today is to recognize my own accomplishments. Accept them for what they are. And determine to continue forward to be the person not only that she would want me to be, but that I want to be.

Happy Birthday Mom.

– Artemis.

Feminist In-Fighting

March 19, 2006 at 4:55 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

“i do it for the joy it brings
because i’m a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it’s the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
and i do it just because i want to
because i want to”

– Ani Difranco, Joyful Girl


Women fighting women.

I’m tired of it. In this fight called feminism, we should be banding together, fighting for eachother and with eachother. Not against one another.

Tearing eachother down. Breaking eachother apart. Criticizing. Arguing. What good does it do?

Tekjani has a good little rant about this on Shrub.com:

“Stop it. Stop invalidating me because of my reproductive choices. Stop telling me what is and is not worthy of discussion. Stop calling me names because I have a different sexual expression than you. Stop discriminating against our sisters just because they don’t have the same naughty bits as you. Stop telling women that they should not be allowed to choose their life’s path. And, for the love of little green apples, stop trying to make the only valid path in life the one you want to take.

 

That’s what the patriarchy does, not us. Get it?”

She’s so right. And I’m sick of it. Sick of women tearing me down. Get it together sisters.

***

Academics seems to be a great place for tearing women down. Even in women’s studies, a place where we should be educating eachother about feminism and supporting our sisters. No ladies, women’s studies is one of the most rampant places for sisterly abuse.Perhaps its because its caught up in the patriarchal academic rigors still. Perhaps its because it has yet to find a home of its own. The world of academia as a whole is conducive to tearing down activism – seeing activism as unnecessary, unwarranted, and generally unproductive. What we ought to be doing, it might be argued, is publishing papers and articles and researching and going to conferences. Educating one another.

That’s all fine and dandy, but I’m sick of educating and being educated and researching and writing and interviewing. At the end of the day, I’m not seeing any results. That world is fine for some people, and I have no doubt that it has its place. After all, we need academia to produce lawyers and activists and politicians and teachers and doctors and nurses. But academia, stop dissing those of us who choose not to be academists.

In my own world of women’s studies, I find over and over again activism being devalued. Professors who once considered themselves feminists, now burned out, citing ‘the feminist movement is dead’. If that’s the case, what am I doing here? They reward those who stay locked in their homes, attached to a computer all day long and writing papers; while devaluing those of us who take a few extra years to complete a degree, working in the feminist movement, in women’s centres, in labour unions – as activists.

I am helping people. I work every day. I am exhausted. I have no time for myself. But every call I take, every women that enters a women’s centre, every time I design a protest poster or pamphlet or visit Confederation Building to argue with those in power – I am doing something good.

And I shouldn’t be devalued or have to explain myself to my fellow colleagues in women’s studies.

I shouldn’t have to explain myself to any of my sisters.

Just as I support them and what they choose, they should support me.

***


everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well'
cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tellt
he truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way
no, well o.k. thendon't cry"- Ani Difranco, Joyful Girl
What are we doing here women?What's the biggest adversity to the feminist movement todayI'd say it ourselves.

Stop fighting.
Stop arguing.
Or the feminist movement really will be dead one of these days very soon.

– Artemis

On My Lips the Words Turn Blue

March 13, 2006 at 12:16 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The mood of these absent weeks…

“are there no blinders on lights that glare
white noise on the eyes
from gas station lights and reflected ice glare
so that i can walk home by moonlight
alone

or can we go out to where the wind howls and stand to lean up against the trees
they’ve grown up so tall that you can’t see the house
it’s a fortress now but you know how it used to be
i can lie to myself
and say i like it
but i would love it if you were here

these words on paper smell like you
associated in random thought
on my lips the words turn blue
evidence i’m feeling lost
i can lie to myself
and say i like it
but i would love it if you were here
i’m just sad for myself
cause i know you’re clear
but i would love it if you were here

i can just see you show me your garden
i thought you’d grow roses and grapes on low vines
i wanted to know you when we were both older
i thought there’d be more of those wonderful times
i can lie to myslef
and say i like it
but i would love it if you were here
i’m just sad for myself
cause i know you’re clear
but i would love it if you were here
you were here
yes you were
yes you were”

– Sarah Harmer, “You Were Here”


Slow down

March 13, 2006 at 12:11 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Lack of posting lately.

I missed blog for sexism day.

So busy I don’t even have time to clean my apartment.

I need peace. Quiet.

A place to breathe.

A rest.

Soon.

– Artemis


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